/ 
Acme-Schlong-0.001
River stage zero No dependents
/ Acme::Schlong

NAME

Acme::Schlong - Fun with Acme::Schlong!

VERSION

version 0.001

SYNOPSIS

I remember, years ago, to have found one arcane incantation on the shell to calcuate your schlong size on your Linux box.

I was both amazed and curious and immediately tried it on my system (which happened to be OSX and it didn't work...).

Next, I tried it on the university's computers. It was way too cool.

Then, years later, I have found Perl::Achievements. It's a fun module.

It's a nice go-ahead-and-contribute-module. I wrote Perl::Achievements::Achievement::SchwartzianTransform for the fun of it.

So here is Acme::Schlong. Go ahead, contribute!

BTW: The arcane incantation was:

echo `uptime|grep days|sed 's/.*up \([0-9]*\) day.*/\1\/10+/'; cat /proc/cpuinfo|grep MHz|awk '{print $4"/30 +";}'; free|grep '^Mem' | awk '{print $3"/1024/3+"}'; df -P -k -x nfs | grep -v 1k | awk '{if ($1 ~ "/dev/(scsi|sd)"){ s+= $2} s+= $2;} END {print s/1024/50"/15+70";}'`|bc|sed 's/\(.$\)/.\1cm/'

TODO

  • Find good ways to calculate the following:

* number of users logged in on the system (one user with 9 shells is 1 user.)
* harddisk size
* memory used
* swap used
* harddisk free space
* uptime in minutes
* running time in minutes
* average load

  • Find good infrastructure so that contributors can:

* easily extend to new metrics
* calculate the new schlong size
* all roles/subclasses are used

  • Build Task:: Distribution so that everybody can keep his own stuff?

  • Versioning so that you can say "By metric XYZ your schlong size is XYZ" ?

  • More robust OS-specific stuff.

  • Send report to website

AUTHOR

Daniel B. <dbr@cpan.org>

COPYRIGHT AND LICENSE

This software is Copyright (c) 2012 by Daniel B..

This is free software, licensed under:

DO WHAT THE FUCK YOU WANT TO PUBLIC LICENSE, Version 2, December 2004